Writings From The Heart

Looking For The Beauty Through The Weeds

December 2, 2017

It isn’t easy for me to open my private heart, but when I do, it is my prayer it touches someone who may find themselves struggling with a difficult situation. It is my prayer that the hardships I have endured will provide hope and encouragement as well as strength and courage to see there is a new tomorrow.

design-1Trials are times when God refines us to make us the best vessel He created us to be. Unfortunately, they are met with exhaustion, confusion, indecisiveness, difficulty and weariness depending on how difficult the situation is.

I have experienced a season of hardships over the past almost 10 years. It seems we just go from one to another to another, while the first ones haven’t been resolved we are trying to navigate a new one. It isn’t pretty.

Difficult times such as these can weigh us down leaving us in a state of fear, confusion, anxiousness, insecurity, and find they are difficult to process. They produce states of minds where darkness can consume you leaving you discouraged and depressed.

This cycle of hardship leaves you feeling like a darkness of loneliness has consumed you, but my friend, I’m here to reassure you first and foremost you are not alone. The fear of loneliness doesn’t have to be what consumes you. There is someone who understands your situation and circumstances because I am there and have been for a long time.

I don’t have a 5 Step plan yet to get us out of this bondage. My way of processing all of the above emotions are to begin writing about them. Over the years as I would cry out to God seeking answers to my, “… but why God?” I would come out to the same solution. This being if we have to go through the pain and the yuk then my prayer is it isn’t in vane. I have pleaded with God that our difficulties would serve to encourage others, but to do this I have to begin to tell my story of years of trials and hardships that revolve around so many raw and challenging emotions.

I am also going to be brutally honest by saying I am a Christian, a believer of our God in Heaven, I am not as good as a lot of the women who are well known public speakers and authors. I have travelled my road in a messy and dirty way. I haven’t done it as gracefully as you hear from others when you listen to them and read in their books.

The formation of my blog is not pretty or elegant, full of lace and pearls, but when you read my heart felt stories, it is my prayer that you can relate to the painful circumstances and trials and are refreshed knowing if your journey is as messy as mine, that you are not alone. There are others who struggle just as much. It is my hearts desire you know if you are not following the ” perfect” 5 Step plan that you aren’t doing it wrong. Do not let those lies enter your mind. There is no right or wrong way to travel these difficult journeys.

My friends, what I have learned through these difficult years is that life is “Messy”. I truly believe in my heart there isn’t a right or wrong way to travel through difficult trials in life. All that matters in the end is that you “Survived”.

We will survive this and are surviving because God has not abandoned or forsaken us. He is still walking us through these hardships holding our hands and guiding us down these roads. He loves us “Unconditionally” with no strings attached. If you have walked away from Him, consider rekindling that relationship and allow that tiny spark, that is still in your heart, to become a burning fire again. Remember, a heart wrenching fact, He didn’t walk away from you, you walked away from Him.

I’m not trying at all to be on a soapbox, but I know first hand how hard these difficult roads are to follow. I may not walk the Christian walk correctly or appropriately, but one thing I know with 100 percent certainty, I couldn’t have done these years of hardships without God in my life. He has helped to keep my sanity and has guided my determination to survive after all these years. I am where I am today in my journey because of Him. Allow Him to guide you as well.

I will close by sharing a hug with each one of you who are in need of one right now. You will persevere in the end. Keep your chin up and allow God to hold you up while you are weary. His arms are strong enough and His heart is willing. You’ve got this my friend



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.